desperados. madness. karaoke.at times when he was land lubbing it at kimonos he could be observed matching wits with the mad mathematician, julian robichaux. they could be seen rolling on the floor together, arguing about the maximum speed obtainable by a horny humper in the open sea.
brys rinech's reputation for nailing the horny humpers was rivaled only by the phallic prowess of buffdert. buffdert was a wizard from the great northwest whose power was seated in his java mastery. able to make a water bottle squirt at three paces, buffdert was not a man to be trifled with. one early sunday morning brys rinech witnessed an awesome phallic java squirting performed by buffdert, and he was never quite the same.
buffdert and brys rinech, each a kind of desperado in his own right, each powerfully phallic, each talented in his own bizarre way with a microphone, wondered aloud one fateful night at kimonos as to who could nail the most horny humpers during a single lotusphere event. would it be phallic buffdert, with only the power of java to aid him in his quest? or would it be brys rinech, who had the advantage of loud, dissonant off-key karaoke powered by the mysterious engines of the Desperado?
surprisingly mad julian robichaux did not know the answer, although he had some theories about google bombs. but jonvon from accounting did. each time they asked him, his answer was the same.
nine, nine, nine, was all he could repeat. nine... nine... he whispered into the darkness that beclouded his poor randomly mottled mind.
would buffdert nail four horny humpers? would brys rinech nail five? would one desperado nail all nine, leaving the other alone to sing karaoke to julian?
and so the quest for the horny humpers began. buffdert set out to his phallic tower to conjure a mighty batch of java. brys rinech retired to the Desperado and checked the wiring on his awesome karaoke machine. the mysterious greyhawk68 was summoned to judge the awesome contest. julian lay down on the floor waiting for brys to return, while jonvon sat at a little circular table, half whispering, half muttering "nine" while staring over that old man's drink, the enigmatic tom collins.
soon buffdert's tower was squirting java like mad. one of the bloggers took a picture and called it the money shot. brys rinech was out in the deep sea, singing his singular karaoke aboard the Desperado, driving all the horny humpers into a frenzy. soon brys rinech's ship could be seen heading into port, driving nine horny humpers before him. he was still singing, blasting pure chalkboard raking sound into the wailing sea. he was a sarbanes oxley tempest all to himself.
buffdert became very fond of his phallic java squirting tower and never reemerged, leaving brys rinech to revel in his karaoke powered victory aboard the Desperado. greyhawk68 sang a song with jess, julian and brys argued man to man on the floor, and jonvon had another tom collins.
and we have the pictures to prove it.
discussion thread| 1 |
This is just... so... WRONG!
| 2 |
Best. Post. Ever.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!
| 3 |
Dude! That totally rocks! Gimme some fin.
| 4 |
:-D
| 5 |
LOL ....and it bothers Tom - even better :) ...Oh, and very nice redesign there dewd
| 6 |
Mate has your prescription ran out? :)
| 7 |
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
*whew* gotta catch my breath... this was brilliant!
Too funny man, too too funny!
-Grey
| 8 |
LOL!!!!
Brilliant, Jonvon, Brilliant!
| 9 |
Whatever happened to the expression "Whatever happens in Orlando Stays In Orlando"?..Guess blogs do change everything...:-)
| 10 |
to protect the, um, "innocent"
;-)
| 11 |
If you are doing anagrams, I prefer:
Henry Cribs
Synch Brier
Chin Berrys
Briny Sherc
Cherry Nibs
Errs By Chin
| 12 |
hehehehe
nice :-)
| 13 |
"Buffdert"... Yeah, *that* will throw them off the trail...
| 14 |
LOLOLOL
hey, at least i made you buff! ;-)
| 15 |
OK, am I going mad, or did you have Chris' name in there spelled correctly originally?
BTW, this was hilarious...
| 16 |
fanx!
hehehe, yes, it was spelled correctly before. chris claims that his wife was going to have a problem with it.
it's a nice excuse actually, i use it all the time myself for all kinds of things.
;-)
| 17 |
SNARF!!! Where do I send the cleaning bill for my 19" flat-screen (now covered in coffee w/vanilla creamer).
You worry me. A lot.
-Devin.
| 18 |
devin, coming from you i consider that high praise. ;-)
btw in all seriousness i can understand not wanting your name to get googled and to end up on this post, esp when you are running a one man consulting shop and all of your bills are paid basically via the strength of your name. in fact if mr "rinech" had objected strongly to the post i'd have gladly pulled it. as it happens he thought it was funny.
i laughed the whole time i was writing it... but then, i'm easily amused.
| 19 |
"it's a nice excuse actually, i use it all the time myself for all kinds of things. "
I knew it. It isn't that pollavon hates Colorado... you are just using that as an excuse to not move back here. Well, that, and the whole death knell of the Notes market in this town...
As far as googling yourself... my site's rank went down on MSNs new search. I am now the #9 hit for jonvon instead of #1. And it is much more appropriate that way.
| 20 |
wait, is this the part where you want me to come to work for you, take a cut in pay, pay my own moving expenses, end up buying a smaller house than the one i currently have, and then get more skin cancer riding my bike to work?
:-D
no, it isn't paula's fault... but for the record she really does not like colorado much at all. you and loretta are the only reason we have for moving back. it would be much more convenient for us if you guys would just go ahead and move here. ;-)
| 21 |
Well, we could only be talked into moving to Tampa for an increase in pay, paid moving expenses, a bigger house, and less skin cancer as we ride our bikes to work.
so it all balances out, really....
| 22 |
RuffDebt
TuffBred
BredTuff
Tuffberd
| 23 |
such a wicked, wicked pen ;) i will forever hold you responsible for the new (and incredibly disturbing) images associated with all my new friends. :P there's WAY too much you can do with "horny humpers"!!!
| 24 |
hehehe... i'll take that as a compliment, i think... ;-)